I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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