Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
