Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
either way he was missing a nipple.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
