my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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