I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
