we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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