Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
im holly from the hills drunk
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
