Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Randomize
