they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize