FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
