Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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