I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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