I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
