Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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