Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
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I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
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I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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