Im at strip club and am horny
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Randomize
