what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
