my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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