very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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