how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize