Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
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He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
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The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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