even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
