Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize