would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize