Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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