Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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