i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
