So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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