I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
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