Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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