Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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