Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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