What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
