do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize