do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
