I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I stole a fireplace last night.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
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