are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
