he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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