Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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