Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
