My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize