I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize