i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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