My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
