so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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