I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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