i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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