I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
You need a sexual gate keeper
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
