May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
She even gives head with a lisp.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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