Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
