and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
