Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
