4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize