We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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