i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
